Syahmie Fayyadh
de•pres•sion
A mental condition characterized by feelings of severe despondency and dejection, typically also with feelings of inadequacy and guilt, often accompanied by lack of energy and disturbance of appetite and sleep. –Google
I’ve been struggling with this disease for about a year and a half now. Unlike most physical diseases, this “sickness of the mind” affects those around you. You will have a hard time to adjust with your social lives, your oblivious friends and family may or may not understand what is going through your mind. Most of us might not remember that even prophet Mohamed (pbuh) fought heavy depression. His mind was burdened to see his people living in a vile lifestyle and culture. That’s when he decides to meditate in Hira Cave before his first Sura was revealed by Gabriel (as). What happens next? He changed our world, he became one of the world’s most influential man in history of mankind, and most importantly, he won his personal battle against depression. When depression is present, the dreadful feeling of worthlessness will surely linger in our minds. Worthlessness is the gut wrenching feeling that our lives has no purpose, we exists solely to waste the world’s oxygen, and those around us will have to endure our pathetic existence. Sometimes, this thought could even lead one to suicide.
The best way to counter
According to most statistics and from my personal experience, there’s usually two ways one would do to end this feeling of worthlessness; Self-harm and suicide. Self-harm doesn’t necessarily means cutting your arms with razorblades, one could live in an unhealthy lifestyle like overeating, drugs and nicotine, or maybe even intentionally ruining their relationships with those around them. And I believe everybody knows what suicide is, letting all those sadness, anger, and despair by ending the one who caused it; ourselves. But those are only what our emotions are telling us what to do. In fact, there is another way to ease the feeling of worthlessness, it’s by becoming the opposite of being worthless. We can’t just dwell in our emotions and expect change to happen. Be the change, turn your life around. “How?” you may ask. Simple, help those around you. Give your broke peer a few cash for him or her to go through her day safely, feed the stray cats and dogs around you home, water the dying plant near your workplace. There’s literally an infinite ways to help others. You might think that you’re being worthless at this moment. But not for your broke peer, he or she might be struggling to figure a way to be financially safe, and you just helped him/her! The stray animals might be critically hungry before you fed them, and guess what, you saved them! The same thing applies to the plant. These God’s creatures might pray for your wellbeing. My point is, by being the opposite of worthlessness, you will eventually realize that you are, in fact, not what you’ve thought yourself to be. You are not worthless to the eyes of your broke peer and to the animals and plant that you’ve fed. This feeling arise when we just focus on our mistakes, dependencies, and guilt. Great, now use the feeling worthlessness to become a positive and helpful human being. Understand that maybe this feeling is actually a blessing in disguise of a curse. And that, my friend, is what I think is the best way to utilize the feeling of worthlessness. I’m not saying that having this state of emotion is 100% a good thing, but, we can use it to become a more humble and positive creature. “Certainly, We have created man (to be) in hardship.” – Al Balad 90:4