I’ve had extreme fear of failure for many years. Being afraid to not be good enough, firstly towards my own standards (which were way too high) and the expectations of others. Stomach ache, shaking hands and trembling knees were the symptoms that I had to control every day.
Insecurity occurs in many shapes. You have people who are insecure about their bodies. Others are insecure about communicative abilities, their social abilities, their clothes, their work experience, their way of upbringing, their possessions, etc. The question is: why are you insecure and how do you work on a secure self?
Insecurities are linked with a low self-image. This probably happened because of what you’ve been trough in the past. If you’ve been bullied a lot, insecurity can be a consequence. But you can make yourself insecure if you place your life in a frame. A frame in which you oblige yourself to fit in that frame, without thinking about the human differences.
Insecurity is accompanied by the feeling of a lack of experiencing success. When you believe that you’re not successful in your job, in having a family, in running a household, in having a beautiful body, in having wealth, in having ‘fun’ and ‘successful’ friends, then you can easily feel insecure about yourself. But here I also ask you: who determines your success?
Success is an individual development that you shouldn’t let anyone take away from you. Your success shouldn’t be measured by the public and only because of that, you shouldn’t feel insecure and unhappy as regards to the big world. A world where success equals the definition of a supermodel, being highly educated and material richness.
No, dear you. Success is also staying close to yourself and experiencing a personal development on your own pace. Success is when you still look forward to a beautiful tomorrow, in spite of a disease. When you, in spite of the loss of your parent, still know how to stand on your own feet. When you, in spite of learning difficulties, can still be proud of yourself and when you still want to be meaningful for yourself and your environment. And there are many more types of successes.
Comparing yourself to someone else has an impact on your self-esteem or on someone else’s. Comparisons bring distinctions, dissatisfactions, pride and short-sightedness with them. Why would you want to compare your life with someone else’s? The only reason I can think of is because you want to learn from it. But unfortunately, often, this isn’t the reason why we are continually comparing.
Don’t forget that an unrealistic image of reality came with the age of social media. Think about it, a person only wants to show the prettiest and the best of himself. This became a new phenomenon. And I definitely do the same once in a while. It’s not a bad thing to share beautiful moments with the world, as long as you are and stay realistic. Don’t get swiped away by your own imagination!
Say Alhamdulillah! Allahu Malik Alhamd or thank God and God is the King of thanking! The more you express your gratitude about your successes, the more secure you will feel and the happier you will be. The days, months and years pass by with a feeling of dissatisfaction and unhappiness. Why? If you decided that this world will not accept you as you are and because of what you have, then you can at least decide to love yourself because of who you are and what you have. That will give you a feeling of freedom.