Single and Doing Just Fine – Thank You Very Much!

So many articles, interviews and aunties describe the growing number of single Muslim women over 30 as some kind of epidemic or disease that is infiltrating our ummah. Yes, there is an issue with Muslim women (and men) struggling to find a suitable spouse and this is a whole separate issue. However, there is also a growing number of Muslim women who are perfectly happy with being single. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they do not have hopes of finding their other half, it just means that they are comfortable as they are right now and are in a great place to receive the right guy – if and when he comes along.

So many women have found themselves run ragged in the search for a spouse, filled with despair, under ridiculous amounts of pressure that often lead to quite serious consequences such as low self esteem, lack of confidence and depression. They have found themselves the object of ridicule and prejudice in their families and communities and they are often looked down upon for being not only 30 and single, but sometimes 30 and childless .

It is at this point that so many women have said  “Enough is enough”.

They are loving life in their own terms, doing things that bring them fulfillment and contentment, mixing with people who make them feel good about themselves and going to places where they will not be judged.

They understand and honor their right to be happy and their right not to feel ashamed about something they have no control over. They understand that if they are going to create and nurture a meaningful marriage that it starts with them.

These women are taking time to work through their negative thoughts and limiting beliefs. They are giving themselves the gift of self love and ensuring that their needs are met for once instead of just doing everything for everyone else. They are content to acknowledge that the right man will come along when they are in the right place to receive him and they have removed any sort of deadline from their lives.

As a singles coach I cannot be proud enough of these women. It takes a brave Muslim woman to stand up and to take a step back and take care of herself before she decides to get in a relationship.

Written by SorayaSingles


Helping single Muslim women worldwide go from single to engaged!

  • Muslimah

    While I’m sure this article is well-intentioned, I think it generalizes all single Muslim women as people who haven’t met this ‘end goal’ of marriage, and that all of their efforts are essentially for & leading up to marriage… this is not the case for all women. Also, the idea of women merely as caretakers of men’s needs just doesn’t sit well with me. Lastly, I feel this paints an image of women having this responsibility to be ‘receivable’ to a spouse, thus putting all the pressure on her to be somehow an ideal partner and having to devote this whole phase of her life solely in preparation for that. The way I see it, being single does not mean sitting around in a waiting room. Rather, it could be a way of life (temporary or not) for women who want to independently learn, grow, and be their complete, best selves just as they are.

  • Naz Nouman

    That’s me, a few weeks short of turning 31 and still not married. No theres nothing wrong with me, I’m not messed up, flawed, ugly or undesirable in any way (on the contrary I’ve had my fair share of proposals) I just wasn’t ready for many years and am still in two-minds about it. Part of me would love to experience the wonderful adventure of marriage… but the other part of me really does not. I’ve enjoyed freedom for too long, am I really in a rush to give it all up to resign myself to the role of wife and mother? I’m certainly not in a hurry… but am sadly very aware of the fact that in accordance to the desi-calendar I should be ‘in a major hurry’ as I am getting closer and closer to the ‘aunty’ status (in other words being labelled ‘too old’) and thusly becoming an undesirable candidate as most men (yes even those 40+) would much rather procreate with a wife under 35 (ideally under 30… even more ideally under 25…). Damn you society, once again always making things harder for the women!