When a Nosey Aunty Talks About Marriage or Your Biological Clock - This Is What You Secretly Want to Say

You may find yourself cornered in a social gathering such as a wedding, engagement or birthday party (which you didn’t want to go to for this very reason!) and being forced to partake in an uncomfortable inquisition in which your life choices, biological clock and even sanity come under fire.

Oh brother and sister… if only you could say what you really wanted to say in this situation!

Here’s how it might go..

Actual chitchat

Salaam, where have you been? Long time no see!(And still you’re not married)

Walaikum asalaam I’m fine thank you, yes it’s been ages (Go on, I know you’re going to ask)

So everything’s is going well with you? (Can I ask yet?)

Yeah fine thank you I just got promoted and moved into my own place (Ha in your face! Make your move, I dare you)

Oh wow! (As in wow I can’t believe you are still not married)

Awkward pause

So…still not married then? (Let me add the pity face to show how genuinely sorry I feel for you, poor thing)

Nope I am not (Shit! Why I am doing the pity face back?? I’m not sorry)

Have you not met anyone? (I bet you say no to all of them like you have a choice or something)

Time’s running out you know(I’d better remind you that there’s a deadline)

I know (Why am I agreeing with her? Why can’t I just be strong! Bloody hell I closed a £30k deal last week and now I’m simpering before a nosy relative! Why am I always made to feel like it’s MY fault?)

I know a nice guy/girl, he/she is my neighbour’s, brother’s, cousin’s friend, he/she is a bit older than you; 61…( We also suspect there’s something wrong with him but you’re in no position to say no)

Thank you that’s sweet of you to think of me (Remind me to think of you next time I feel crap about myself)

Don’t worry you will find a someone soon(at that age??)

If it happens it happens ( I don’t want to give you the satisfaction of thinking you’ve hit a sore spot with me)

What?? Don’t you mean in sha Allah. (Astaghfirullah! It’s as if you’re enjoying being single!)

Oh yeah sorry (#notsorry)

In this day and age where we are starting to learn that it is not acceptable to ask a married person why he/she doesn’t have children, surely we must also begin to understand that it is not appropriate to ask a single person why he/she is not married.

Just because you are single does not mean that your love life is open to public discussion the same way being without children does not open up an individual’s sex life to general scrutiny.