Mvslim
Ramadan.
It brings out the best in us.
But unfortunately, it’s probably brought the worst out of us in the past too.
A month containing 30 days where we fast from dawn until dusk. It’s supposed to be a month of celebration. Where many of us may have been encouraged to fast by our parents.
But then things started to go wrong.
Here are some epic stories that some of you guys sent in, of trying to fast as kids – but failing epically.
1. The Time The Was-Wasa of the Shaytan of Chocolate Was Too Strong
“I used to be a chubster as a kid. But my mum said why don’t I try to keep a fast. The fasts weren’t like today, only until like until 4.45pm then.
So I did, to see what it was like. But then my mum got the Maltesers out of the cupboard as she was clearing it out. I saw them. The time was 4.05pm.
I caved straight away and broke my fast. There were only around 30 mins to wait too. But tbh I didn’t regret it 😂.”
We hear this reader is still impatient as ever.
2. Channelling Your Inner Ninja Because You Got To Thirsty
“I used to go to ride my bike while fasting in the peak of summer. Got thirsty. Planned my kitchen infiltration to not get spotted by OG mumzy. Decided to go round the outside and stick my arm in through the window to get a glass of water. Don’t ask how I managed. 💪 💯.”
This contributor is still creeping in the garden.
3. When Life Gets Just Too Much
“I was in year 6, my mum made school sandwiches but I was adamant I’d fast, so I did. Back then, the fast would break around 4-5pm, cannot remember exactly. Anyway, I had a long day, I was angry and frustrated. We were in the car, on the way home, me complaining about being hungry and tried.
My mum reassuring me that there was food at home, ready to break the fast with. I remember the sandwich being in my bag, either I packed it or my mum packed it, anyway, I got so angry, I ate it, to come home to a table full of food.
I remember feeling like a wasteman. The journey home was literally a matter of minutes, legit, like three minutes.”
We have on good record that they’re still throwing their toys out of the pram.
4. When The Shaaytan of Chocolate Comes Back For Round Two
“When I was in year 6, broke my fast an hour before accidentally because I was craving chocolate”.
This reader still refuses to wear a watch during Ramadan to this day.
5. Staying Clean To Live the Dean
“When I was 2 years old in Florida with my parents, I kept saying ‘I want a bubble bath, I want a bubble bath’ and my mum was like ‘yes, ok, ok, we will be in the hotel room soon and we’ll put you in the bath’, they went to check in at reception and when they turned around, I had dropped my pants standing there naked as a little baby, ready for my bath with the hotel lobby as my audience.”
Currently, this reading is still running around Florida demanding to be bathed.
6. When 3 Is Just Too Much
“It was back in the day when Ramadan was during the summer, I was in year 5 and I was on a roll managing to keeping 2 consecutive fasts.
On the third night, I had the best suhoor ever! Paratha, eggs and tea and then I went bed with a full stomach feeling fat and satisfied.
I went school that morning and throughout the day I was feeling a bit funny and very thirsty.
I remember it getting to the end of the day, we’re in the last lesson and I’m sat in front of the window with a beating sun.
I start to feel like I need to go to the toilet. But for some reason, I was too shy and didn’t want to get up and ask, plus I felt like I could hold it in until I got home.
A few more minutes went by, I couldn’t even focus anymore, I was sweating and then, as I looked at the people day opposite me all smiling and happy, I opened my mouth and a sea of vomit spread out across the table and onto their laps.
I felt good afterwards but was sad I wasted my suhoor, I still kept my fast and had even more food for iftar 😂😂😂.”
We hear this reader is still throwing up on his peers. And also sending stories that are way too long.
7. Mum Is Always Going to Get You
“When I was 10 used to go park to play football with my non-Muslim friends just before iftar to pass time, one day I went and I was so into the game I didn’t realize that it was getting dark and the pitch had floodlights so I couldn’t even tell.
I go to my phone and see 10 missed calls from my mom because it had gone past iftar time 😭 I was sh**ting it so I started running home and see my mum in the car coming to find me, probably the maddest I’ve ever seen her. I ate my iftar with tears down my face 😢🤣.”
We hear this reader still cries after every meal.
8. “Just Say Bismillah. It’s Okay.”
“When my sister and I had just started fasting, my dad told us that if we broke our fast accidentally, it was okay and we could just start over and keep fasting throughout the day. So, being geniuses and very young, my sisters and I used to “accidentally” break our fast and just start over practically every day. We’d never really have easy access to actual food so we’d eat things like candy and then scream “OK STARTING OVER. BISMILLAH!” and then fast again for an hour or so, then eat another piece of candy and so on and so forth.”
We hear this contributor still starts his fast 20 times a day.
What Ramadan fasting fails did you have as a kid?
