A Letter From a Broken-Hearted Girl to Her Muslim Ex-Boyfriend

I will never forget the day I first met you. We had been texting for a while and I was so excited to meet you. Excited and nerve-wrecked, because I knew you had a different religion than me. But you told me it did not matter, and I believed you.

You made me feel great during the time we got to know each other, I thought we were on the same page. But there were little things that concerned me, like your perception of the lifestyle of others, gender equality and sexuality.  It should have been clear to me that I needed to break things off, but you were first.

Yes, I had sex with you and, yes, I drank alcohol, but I was not a bad person because of it. But according to you, I was. It didn’t matter you did the same things, I was a girl, so I was not allowed to do it. You used your religion as an excuse to break things off with me, a white girl who did not fit in your future. You liked me because I was free, because you could do things with me you couldn’t do with Muslim girls, but you also disrespected me for it.

I don’t blame your religion at all, I will always have respect and admiration for every religion. I blame you. You were not the man I thought you were. You used me as a tool for pleasure, but didn’t consider a serious relationship at all.

After you broke up with me, I was wondering: Am I the only one in this situation? I did a quick Google search and I found out that there were a lot of girls who were abused the same way. I didn’t feel alone in my pain anymore.

I know we don’t talk anymore, but I just wonder, what is the essence of religion? Is it not love? Love for God, love for your family, love for your neighbors, so why not love for people from a different religion? And what about respect? Should we only respect people from the same background and religion? Am I less valuable than women from your community because of my different faith?

I won’t deny that a relationship is easier if you share the same values. Of course it is easier if you meet someone who your family accepts as one of their own. But marriage is about much more than the same values and upbringing. It is about harmony and compromising. As long as the marriage is peaceful, understanding and loving, your marriage will be successful. And that is what love should all be about, I believe.

This article was written by Eline Schreurs.

Written by Eline Schreurs

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