As I’m always trying to improve and mostly better myself, I decided to undergo a small detox to become more conscious of my manners and better them. I started off with asking the people around me how I appeared and what their general impression of me was. To be honest, I was quite shocked as I discovered I didn’t appear as polite as I thought I was. Mostly because of the loads of cursing I wasn’t even aware of I did. People who are close to me also know that I have this scumbag side of me which I always found amusing and innocent, but sometimes a bit endangering as well apparently. Signs for me were very clear that I didn’t only had to improve myself on a mental level, but also as a Muslim, daughter and friend. Eventually they go hand in hand. A good Muslim is also well-mannered and a well-mannered person treats his parents and friends right. After months of self-development and life-changing events, I felt like this had to be my next move. Improving my manners and finding small ways to ensure my inner-peace and other’s happiness.
1. Rubber band around your wrist
Every time I’d curse or insult someone (aloud or in my head cause yeah most of my insulting doesn’t reach the surface of my lips and leaves me with inner frustration), even if it was meant in a funny way, I’d pull the rubber band around my wrist so that it would hurt. I can’t bring to words how much my wrist hurt after that first day. It does take some determination as well to pull it every time again without hesitation. After a few days I already started to notice the difference in how my thinking process went. I’d intentionally search for something nice to tell people so I wouldn’t have to pull the rubber band. Even the people around me remarked a change in how I’d act and talk. I could only recommend this, even if it would only be to become more aware of what you say and most of all what you think, because “as you think, so shall you become”.
2. Give tips
Ever since I started working in the catering business I started to comprehend how great a small tip can change your mood. It’s a small gift, often not that much, but the thought of someone leaving a bit of their money behind to thank you for your service or maybe cause you sparked their evening with that kind smile you offered, is much more rewarding than the one giving the tip would ever think. So be kind and spark someone’s day by leaving that bit of a tip and wander in your thoughts of what impact that small tip can have. For sure it’ll leave two people happier, maybe even a handful or more if your good mood has a contagious effect.
3. Make time for your parents
As we grow and evolve into our own life pattern, we forget our parents growing older. Laughs we gave them start to make place for frowns and glances we throw them while we’re too caught up in our smartphones. Disconnect for a while, go back to where you last made your parents smile and pick up that vibe where you last lost it. Be kind towards them. They had so much patience raising us while we sometimes walk around like ticking time bombs with our short temper. Take time to re-evaluate the relationship you have with your parents. A small hug, loving stare or a kind smile, all these small things have the power to make your number-one-supporters swoon in their unconditional love for you. Now who doesn’t get overwhelmed by this blissful feeling after some quality time with their parents?
4. Daily time-off
Take some time off from your day, even if it’s only for a few minutes, take the time to stop whatever you’re doing and think about your day. What have you done? What are you doing? What were you working on? Has it been a productive day? Will your future you be thankful for what you’ve done today? Have you done something remarkable? – Just STOP for a minute, stop that whirlpool of consuming talk and start thinking. Make time for you. Talk to yourself. Talk to a higher power whatever you believe that is, God, nature or just something you can’t define. Enjoy the time you have with yourself. Do something you love. You’re worth your time.
5. Create your legacy
I believe everyone has a gift, whether that’s drawing, having the ability to connect to people, writing poetry, making good coffee or playing basketball. We all have something that defines us, something that makes our eyes light up whenever we talk about it or do it, something where our hearts find peace long before our minds have crossed it. Use that gift. Overcome whatever’s in your way to express that God-given talent and create something that you can leave behind, something that people will remember you for, long after you’ve turned to dust by the hand of time. The thought of it just as the process of doing so will be so rewardingly fulfilling that it could lead you to finding your inner peace.
6. “Can I help you?”
Four simple words that can change someone’s day. Think about your worst day and wonder, if someone had lend you a hand to help, would that day have gotten a bit better by it? Bet it would have. So start acting to those four words and open your eyes to your environment so that you can see where an extra hand is needed. Bonus: GOOD KARMA. Always comes in handy when you need it the most or as a random addition to your already wonderful day.
I started living step by step by these 6 points and felt an undeniably positive change towards my daily mindset and it allowed me to happily say it contributed to my inner-peace and to the relationships I have with the people around me, but also with the people I might only meet once in my lifetime.