It’s the start of a new school year, maybe your first day at work, or you’re simply meeting someone new. All situations where you need to exchange names, and that’s a pain. Because, *rolls eyes*, for some people your name is a pain to pronounce correctly. You can see it in their eyes, how their tongues curl up and their lips twitch. The entire encounter can be pretty much summed up by the following:
1. They linger on the first syllable as a scratching DJ track.
I didn’t know you were into sound mixing?!
2. Then, just go for it with a horrible mispronunciation!
At least you tried.
3. Or give up entirely with an “I am not even going to try!”
Guess you’ll be able to pronounce my name when I write the next ‘Crime and Punishment’, huh?
4. They’ll ask you if there is a shortened version?
Sure! Just call me by my initials. Or wait… Don’t call me at all!
5. Or better, they come up with a ‘cool’ nickname all by themselves.
“Mom, my friend gave me a new name and I don’t know if I should be happy or not…”
6. They ask you if you can spell it for them.
Do you really think that will help?!
7. They’ll stare blankly at your written name and contemplate why they even bothered.
I assume that’s a no.
8. So, they’ll start to accuse you of making it so damn difficult.
I am so sorry! My parents purposely gave me this four-lettered name to give you a hard time…
9. To avoid pronouncing your name at all, they’ll ask what your name means.
Because my name’s meaning will sort out your pronunciation troubles, honey?
10. And, wonder where you’re from.
Nowhere special… Just around the corner, dude.
11. And, wonder how you can speak the language as well as them.
Unfortunately, we speak the same language. If not, this entire conversation could have been avoided.
12. In the end, they still don’t get it, even if you have a perfect way of explaining it.
I don’t know what to say… You’re just too far gone. I can’t save you!
13. And to top it off: the disbelief in their eyes when you correct them after getting your name wrong for a while…
It’s not you, but it’s totally you!